{"id":8340,"date":"2026-08-03T11:05:30","date_gmt":"2026-08-03T11:05:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/relocationtimess.com\/?p=8340"},"modified":"2026-08-03T11:05:30","modified_gmt":"2026-08-03T11:05:30","slug":"your-kid-doesnt-want-to-go-back-to-school-now-what","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/relocationtimess.com\/?p=8340","title":{"rendered":"Your kid doesn\u2019t want to go back to school. Now what?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\nThis article is one of a three-part series designed to help kids and parents begin the school year smoothly. Tuesday\u2019s story will cover making friends, and Wednesday\u2019s story will focus on parent concerns about your school\u2019s decisions.<\/em>\n<\/p>

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\n It\u2019s nearly time for your kid to go back to school \u2014 but what if they don\u2019t want to? If so, it may help to know it\u2019s more common than you might realize.\n <\/p>\n

\n \u201cI speak to educators every day, and they keep telling me that it\u2019s a growing problem,\u201d said Jayne Demsky, founder and CEO of the School Avoidance Alliance, a Mahwah, New Jersey-based company that helps families and schools handle the challenge. Demsky said she\u2019s also seeing more parents than ever joining her online support groups.\n <\/p>\n

\n I\u2019ve also been hearing about this problem more often in my talks to parents, educators and students across the country about how to manage kids\u2019 screen time.\n <\/p>\n

\n I\u2019m not surprised it\u2019s happening.\n <\/p>\n

\n During the summer, kids have more time to be on screens. Many apps have been designed to get them addicted. They\u2019re intensely stimulating and bombard kids with constant dopamine hits in the form of likes or points on video games, usually in exchange for very little effort. No wonder it\u2019s shocking and hard for young people to wake up early, get dressed and sit up straight in classrooms where they\u2019re expected to do hard things without a steady stream of entertainment or rewards.\n <\/p>\n

\n What\u2019s more, many schools aren\u2019t doing enough to support students\u2019 well-being. Parents keep complaining to me that their kids are sedentary at school, even though humans need to keep moving throughout the day to be healthy. At school, kids often spend little time outdoors \u2014 another thing essential for our health.\n <\/p>\n

\n Many schools don\u2019t devote nearly enough time to letting kids play, which is one of the key ways primary school-age children learn. On top of that, many schools have kids spending lots of time on screens, even though staring at them for long periods can be stressful and exhausting.\n <\/p>\n

\n A lot of kids realize this situation is not ideal. In fact, kids with school avoidance are usually highly intelligent, Demsky said.\n <\/p>\n

\n What should you do if your child doesn\u2019t want to go back to school?\n <\/p>\n

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\nWhy too much time online makes us unhappy<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

4 min read<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n Manage screen time at home\n<\/h2>\n

\n If a young person spends much of their day on a digital device during the summer, giving it up on the first day of school is going to be an enormous challenge. Instead, start gradually reducing their screen time before they go back by giving them other fun things to do and setting reasonable limits.\n <\/p>\n

\n Also make sure your child goes to bed at a reasonable hour to get their body ready to be up for school, and don\u2019t let them sleep in the same room as their phone.\n<\/p>\n

\n Kids who avoid school often stay up at night so they can sleep during the day to escape feelings of guilt for not going to school, Demsky said. \u201cMost kids don\u2019t do it on purpose,\u201d she said. \u201cIt happens naturally.\u201d\n <\/p>\n

\n Eliminating the distraction of a phone can make it much easier to get to sleep.\n <\/p>\n

\n Help kids build strong ties with school friends and staff\n<\/h2>\n

\n \u201cEngagement with your peers and your teachers and anyone in the school building is one of those protective factors that keeps kids in school,\u201d Demsky said.\n <\/p>\n

\n Kids who don\u2019t have connections with adults at school often aren\u2019t disruptive and sometimes fall through the cracks, she noted.\n <\/p>\n

\n If you think your child is going through this process, ask their teacher and school counselor to meet with them one-on-one to get to know them better.\n <\/p>

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\n Also make sure your child participates in extracurricular activities and has unstructured time to get together with friends, both steps that will strengthen their relationships with classmates.\n <\/p>\n

\n How can you help them keep up their connections with friends sans smartphone? Try a landline, smartwatch or so-called dumb phone that allows them to talk and text but not scroll the internet or apps.\n <\/p>\n

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\nTeens need to press pause on late-night doomscrolling<\/span>\n<\/p>\n

5 min read<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n Do not yell at your kid\n<\/h2>\n

\n If your child doesn\u2019t want to get out of bed in the morning for school, \u201cdo not yell at them,\u201d Demsky said.\n <\/p>\n

\n Some people suggest playing loud music to wake them up. \u201cNo,\u201d Demsky said. \u201cWe want to let the child know that we get it. We understand that this is something they can\u2019t control.\u201d\n <\/p>\n

\n Let kids know you\u2019re on their side and try to build their confidence by saying something like \u201cI see you\u2019re anxious right now,\u201d Demsky said. \u201cI get it. I know that\u2019s hard, but I know that you have the power to handle this feeling and you will get through this.\u201d\n <\/p>\n

\n Also, when you start getting warnings from school officials because your child is racking up absences, pressuring your kids will only make them more stressed. Instead, schedule a meeting with school officials to explain the problem and brainstorm solutions together.\n <\/p>\n

\n \u201cAs a parent, you cannot let your child see any of your anxiety,\u201d Demsky said. \u201cYou have to project calm.\u201d\n <\/p>\n

\n Seek support for your child\n<\/h2>\n

\n If your child is avoiding school, seek help from a mental health professional to determine if they have depression or anxiety, Demsky said.\n <\/p>\n

\n Another possibility is that they need an accommodation for a learning difference. If you think this might be the case, request in writing for them to be evaluated by the school, explaining your reasons, she said.\n <\/p>\n

\n Also contact your child\u2019s school counselor, who can support them.\n <\/p>\n

\n If your child shares specific reasons why they\u2019re unhappy at school, talk to their teacher or principal to request changes. You also can advocate for reduced screen time in your school district, which is almost certain to improve kids\u2019 experiences at school.\n <\/p>\n

\n Many kids aren\u2019t excited to go back to school. To get them to want to return, we may have to go back to old-school methods like pencils, paper and play. In the meantime, try to listen to their concerns, take them seriously and do what you can to support them.\n <\/p>\n

\nKara Alaimo is a professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University and advises parents, students and teachers on how to manage screen time. Her book \u201cOver the Influence: Why Social Media Is Toxic for Women and Girls \u2014 And How We Can Take It Back\u201d was published in 2024.\n<\/p>

Read more GOP congressman defies Trump on Iran but keeps his endorsement<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many US schools will start again soon, and some parents will face kids who don\u2019t want to go back. An expert has advice on how to handle this common problem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8337,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8340","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","category-wellness"],"yoast_head":"\nYour kid doesn\u2019t want to go back to school. 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